Mayonakani
by L0STiNY0UREYES
Summary: Haruno Sakura, having matured over the years takes on a mission that will determine the safety of her village by abandoning them. Is her strength enough to hold her together? And what of the one she loves? The one she must kill? itasakusasu
1. In the Beginning

I didn't like it. I wanted to fix the mistakes, so it's re-revised. bleh

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, or any of the characters. The plot is all that is mine. :) cheers.

"Haruno Sakura…" there was strain found underneath all the heaviness and solidness of her voice. "This mission may take years to accomplish. Your friends, family, home… gone. You must never let your guard down. The future, the peace of your village rests in your hands in this mission. Do you accept?"

Her voice did not waver. "Hai, shishou."

"… are you sure?" Her voice was weaker. Much weaker. It was the mother and teacher in her that came out now. The part that hoped she would decline.

"I am ready," Sakura replied. She couldn't back down. Not now. Not ever. She tried to reassure her master. "You taught me well."

"There are other ways. You don't have to be accountable for this mission, and you won't look weak. Saying no is not weak."

"I know. But this is my time. I can't sit back and do nothing. And there is no other way. I'm the ideal candidate- with my background, it is the opportunity of a lifetime."

She wasn't convinced. Sakura knew Tsunade was confident of her student's abilities, but she didn't want to let her go.

"I'm strong now. This mission is all I have. Don't worry Tsunade-shishou. You have faith in me, don't you?" Sakura gave her a weak smile.

Her mentor returned it, without much enthusiasm.

"Good luck, my child."

Chapter 1- In the Beginning

_That frown that never faded… I wanted to take it off. Those beautiful eyes that held pain… I wanted them to sparkle to life. As I held his hand that easily engulfed mine, we walked to the training grounds. He was the type never to talk unless completely necessary, but he did with me. And that made my days with him the most enjoyable._

_He had the most perfect raven hair that were placed in perfect angles, and I would spend hours watching, observing the silky locks if I was given the choice. His complexion, like everyone else's in his family, was very pale but not in an unhealthy way. It was flawless, like marble of a perfect statue. A statue. That's what this Uchiha can be compared to. Beautiful and stoic. Hard and cold. His attire all held the Uchiha crest as everyone in the clan holds such pride about their name. His posture, rigid yet relaxed. His intelligence impeccable. His eyes… they were the best part, the part reveled in all Uchihas. His deep eyes were like a dark sea and anyone can get lost in them. They were always calm, cool, and neutral. Then there was the other side: the sharingan. The deep red that bled through when in action were both inviting and threatening. I fell in love with the sharingan, as they belonged to the one I loved. _

"_Itachi-kun?"_

_He squeezed his hand in response, not breaking his smooth stride beside me. _

"_Are you still angry at your father?"_

"_Sakura…."_

"_Did you tell him about your Mangekyou?" I asked him as if it was the most casual thing in the world._

"_No Sakura, it's best not to."_

"_Mm." My way of thinking was more simple and objective, as I was a young thing then. I wanted him to be happy. "I hope your family can understand. I know not today, or tomorrow, but someday. Uchiha is just a name after all." I flashed him the biggest smile I could._

"_Like Haruno!"_

_That made him smile, and I felt victorious. Those smiles were smiles to die for. Those rare smiles that made him look like any other normal person._

"_Yes, like Haruno."_

_I looked up at him. His smile was fading away. Fading… gone. _

_No…_

"_I told you though, the Uchiha name is too padded and raised to such an arrogant level. What can we do at this point? It's a prison."_

_I tried to lighten the mood. "Meh, don't be so negative!" How can he be, so much?_

_I leapt into his arms and hugged him with all that I had, although I barely even reach his shoulder. I felt him relax under my embrace as he lifted me up and twirled me around. I started giggling at his enthusiasm and playfulness that I'm sure no one else has ever seen before. I was so happy at these moments. _

"_How is it, that a nine-year old like you can be the one who understands me the most?" he murmured as he spun me. _

_I gave him a toothy grin as he let me down without any sign of strain._

_I didn't want it to fade. I didn't want him to fade. I didn't want this part of him to fade again._

What can I do?_ I looked up at him and saw it fading. The light was fading. Think. Think. THINK._

"_RACE YOU!!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. I ran the rest of the way to the training grounds. I knew he was too fast; he'd be there in two seconds. I would take five minutes. But, Itachi lets me win. When I made it to the clearing, he walked out from under the trees right after. I fell to the grass panting, and he waited._

_I sat on the stump of a tree in the shade as I watched him hit the bulls eye of each target that would be difficult for any jounin. I stand mesmerized by his accuracy. I am so proud of him, and yet, I hurt for him because of all the pressure and expectations and pushing from his family. He knows. I know. And every time I hug him I want to make his burdens go away. He says I do, and I feel him loosen every time we go on a date._

_Yes, a date. That's what I call it and he agreed too._

_Because he also understands what I need._

_Someone._

_We both need each other. We're two of a kind. That would never change. We lessen each other's pain._

_It may sound weird coming from a kid, but I understand him for some reason._

_At the corner of my eye, I saw a small figure in the trees. He had his eyes on Itachi-kun. His eyes __**were**__ like Itachi-kun's! But he looked like he was my age. He had the same raven hair and eyes. It must have been Sasuke, Itachi's younger brother._

_Uchiha Sasuke._

_I saw... hate? anger? jealousy? in his eyes. I don't know, but there was something off, much like how Itachi is. His frown also. It was like Itachi's._

_"Ano... Uchiha Sasuke?" He reverted his eyes to mine. His scowl softened up a bit._

_"You are Itachi's younger brother?" Uchiha Sasuke-kun nodded almost timidly._

_I did as my mother taught me to do when meeting new people. "My name is Sakura! Haruno Sakura!" I gave him a cheeky grin._

_He didn't return it. Jerk. My smile faded as quickly as it came._

_Keep up some conversation Sakura, I thought myself. He reminded me much of his brother."So..." I gaze at him and look back to the talented ninja at work. "Itachi-kun is good, ne? Aren't you proud of your brother? I observed his facial expressions as they stiffened when I mentioned Itachi's name so casually. His eyes hardened._

_His voice was just above a whisper. "Aa..."_

_"Want to train with me?"_

_"No."_

_"Why not?"_

_"You're a girl." He stated matter-of-factly._

_"Why thank you. Come on!" I dragged him to another area, knowing Itachi wouldn't mind._

_We came upon a clearing that looked much similar to the one we had just abandoned._

_"So, do you know any jutsu?"_

_"Yes." He held an air of confidence around him. All Uchihas did, except Itachi. I smiled at the thought. _

_He didn't move. Idiot. Or he's just too shy. I poked his cheek and he looked startled at the contact. _

_"Show me!"_

_With some difficulty Sasuke went through a series of hand signs and filling his lungs up, he breathed out fire. He looked like a baby dragon. I tried not to laugh. _

_He was... cute._

_"That was amazing Sasuke! Watch me now okay?"_

_I went to the end of the training grounds where I found the small stream I practiced with. Sasuke was watching. I went through the hand signs I learned to make with precision and with firm concentration and chakra, created a water serpent. It circled around me and slithered toward Sasuke. It didn't get far as I lost control and drained into the grass. I was disappointed but walked back to Sasuke. _

_He was staring at me. "Is something wrong?" I asked him._

_His face softened as Itachi-kun's did at such moments. "Impressive."_

_His comment brightened my spirits. He was impressed. I impressed Uchiha Sasuke! Woot yeah!!"Thank you."_

_He seemed very curious. "Who taught you how to do that?"_

_"Itachi-kun. He's a very good teacher!"_

_Did I say something wrong? His eyebrows furrowed together and looked forlorn and angry at the same time._

_"Sasuke...?"_

_"He never helps me with any ninjutsu."_

_"Oh..." what could I say to that? I knew Itachi was distant with everyone else, but his brother?"I'm sorry."_

_"Hn." ...Hn??_

_"I can help you too you know."_

_"Hn." Hn?? What is this hn?_

_"And I'm sure Itachi will help you with anything you need when he has the time." _

_Speaking of Itachi-kun..._

_"So you two have met."_

_"Itachi-kun! Treat your brother better will you?" I smack him lightly. I knew he must have overheard our conversation._

_"Nii-san?" Sasuke looked toward us._

_"Oy Sasuke. You on your way home?"_

_"A--aah. Yes."_

_"Let's walk Sakura home first shall we? "_

_I couldn't help but blush at the two. "Aw, how sweet of you guys! Thank you Itachi-kun!" I hugged him casually._

_"And thank you Sasuke!" I wrapped my arms around his neck and he awkwardly hugged back._

_I grabbed both their hands as I started marching to my house. This was the happiest day of my life until then. __I made a new friend. He was like Itachi, but still a totally different person. He had problems too. And he was just as magnificent._

I tried my best, and I held onto both of them. But it seems... it was never enough. Those were the days of my youth, when innocence was still dwindling in the air, and my precious people were beside me.


	2. Being There

Chapter 2- Being There

Was this the right thing to do?

What is right?

I'm here.

It was my choice.. I guess. I didn't want to, but I finally opened my eyes. I got off the empty bed, a normal bed (but empty), comfortable but nothing special about it. My bedroom was pretty plain: some plants I tried to raise here or there, some mahogany dressers to keep my things (one was for him).

After I washed up for the day, I went downstairs for breakfast. I cooked fish I bought from the marketplace the other day and ate it with steamed rice and miso. The china and dishes I used were very tasteful, as _he _had bought them for me during his travels. I sighed at the thought.

After eating breakfast, I washed the dishes and started cleaning the house. There wasn't much to do in this place anyway. My mind started to wander off to home and my childhood.

* * *

_Bye, mom! I quickly shut the door and ran off to the park. It was Sasuke's birthday and he was having a picnic. Well, Itachi and I had planned it since Sasuke was never into doing such things. _

_It was just the three of us. He isn't very social but Sasuke was still my friend and I was very grateful for that._

_I smoothed out my spring dress as I walked to the grassy area near the training grounds. I brought a basket of cake and fruits my mother helped me pack. Under my other arm was a present for Sasuke. It's a kunai I had bought with my own money. I etched the fan symbol at the bottom of the handle so it would be just for him._

_I arrived at the green field and saw my two boys preparing lunch. I saw sandwiches and hand-rolled food I could not recognize. But they all looked delectable anyhow._

"_Wow!" I exclaimed. The two looked up at me. I ignored the puzzled look the twins gave me._

_I put down my basket and held out my gift. "Happy birthday Sasuke!"_

_He stared at my gift as if he didn't know whether to take it or not._

_I placed the wrapped present in his hands and told him it was for him to use when he became a great ninja. _

_He looked startled. Perhaps… he had never received such a gift? I'm sure Itachi had been given all the glory as an Anbu leader and Jounin. I couldn't blame the poor kid._

_I saw a flicker of a smile forming and I felt the warmth I had when I succeeded at making Itachi laugh._

"_Ne, Sakura…" Sasuke interrupted my reverie. _

"_Yes?"_

"…" _He trailed off and looked to be too shy to say more._

_I waited for him to continue._

_I waited. _

_As long as it takes, I will wait._

_And finally…_

_He looked up_

"_Sakura," my head perked up at my name. "Call me Sasuke-kun."_

_My smile widened to a degree it almost hurt. I trailed my fingers through his spiky hair._

"_Of course… Sasuke-kun!"_

_Sasuke-kun._

_Sasuke-kun._

_Sasuke-kun._

_It sounded… what do you call it?_

…_perfect._

"_Well," I came back to reality a second time. Itachi had butt in politely, "Let's celebrate otouto's birthday."_

_We started eating the food Sasuke and Itachi's mother had prepared. Everything was delicious, especially the rice balls. Someone else seemed to be thinking the same._

"_Mother made delicious rice balls," Sasuke commented._

"_Hai!" is all I could say to that. "She seems to be quite a talented cook."_

_He smiled._

_I almost forgot about the food I had brought. I opened the basket and emptied out the contents of our dessert._

_At the bottom of the basket…_

"_Tomatoes?__" the two brothers asked._

_I tried not to laugh. They were both so adorable. "What? They're fruit too!"_

"_Yeah right" Sasuke mumbled._

"_What was that?" I tried to act angry. I took the smallest tomato and plopped it in his mouth. "Chew."_

_I gave one to Itachi as well._

"_Well, I can't argue with you cherry blossom," Itachi commented._

_I smiled at him and observed Sasuke. He had just finished swallowing and the look on his face was amused. I'm just too good. _

_Itachi-kun had a mission that day so he had to leave early. _

"_Take good care of our birthday boy now," he told me before he left._

_I grinned while Sasuke scowled. "Don't worry Itachi-kun. Sasuke-kun and I will have lots of fun."_

_Sasuke started cleaning up the food so I walked with Itachi to the end of the field. _

"_Anbu?" I asked. He nodded absently. No matter how apathetic he looked about his missions, it never stopped me from worrying._

"_Please, be careful." I grabbed one of his hands with both of mine._

_He gently kissed both my hands, my eyes must have looked so worried. _

"_Go and have fun with my brother." I tried to smile at him as he had smiled at me reassuringly. _

"_Come back safely…" I whispered under my breath._

_I couldn't stand it any longer, so I turned around. "Sasuke-kun! I'll help you clean up!" I felt Itachi's gaze on my retreating figure but I knew that if I looked back, he would be gone._

_

* * *

  
_

_I couldn't believe it. I won…. I won!! Yes Haruno! You knew you could beat an Uchiha! I praised myself. I jumped up with my victory dance. _

"_I beat Sasuke!! I beat Sasuke-kun! THE Sasuke!"_

"_It's only a game," his voice was annoyed._

"_Yes, just a game," I smiled and I could see him with a smile tearing through despite his defeat, my victory._

_I jumped up and down, it felt too good. "I win! I win! HA!!"_

_I heard Sasuke chuckle and saw him getting up off the grass as well. I ran up to hug him and as I did so, I felt myself being lifted up a little and I was twirling… my mind was twirling…_

_Sasuke-kun…_

…_around and around…_

…_I think…_

…_until…_

…_I might have…_

…_we fell. _

…_fallen for you too._

_We landed on our backs on the grass. The checkers board clattered at our feet._

_We stayed like that, sprawled on the ground, looking up at the vast sky._

_I made a long contented sigh._

"_Sakura…" I barely heard my name but when I turned to face this angelic boy his pure dark eyes were on me._

_I waited for him to continue._

"_Do you… like… me?" I continued to stare at him. _What does he mean?

_I smiled at him. "Of course I do Sasuke-kun!"_

"_Do you like my older brother?" _What does he really mean?

"_Yes, of course!" The thought of him risking his life at this very moment must have put a faraway look on my face._

"_Who do you like more?" _

_Blink._

… "_WHAT?" I stared. At him. _

_This question. _

_Then, I couldn't help it. I started laughing, right in his face._

_Five minutes. I must have been laughing for at least five minutes. But he was serious._

_He was still waiting for my answer. "Answer the question Sakura."_

"… _please."_

_I couldn't tell him. I didn't want to favor one over the other. I sat up and looked down on his adorable face that was etched with frustration. _

"_I love you both equally Sasuke-kun."_

"_Liar."_

_Wide eyes. "What?!"_

"_You're lying."_

_I sighed._

_Leaning in to him, I called his name. "Sasuke-kun…" _

_He leaned in to hear the words he wanted to hear._

I love you most.

"…_jealous?"_

"_Che." He lost interest. "No." Blunt answer. Blunt boy._

"_You are!" I started tickling him. I tickled him until he forgot._

_But he didn't._

* * *

"_Sakura." I looked up at him._

"_Nii-san has everything, I am jealous of that." I listened. "He has the love of my father and the support of our whole clan."_

_I frowned at this._

Oh Sasuke… don't you know?

"_And you. He has you."_

"_Sasuke-"_

"_But I have you too…."_

"…_so, I will win. This game, I will win for sure."_

For sure

But then… the unexpected happened. And all was lost.

* * *

The dishes were dried and put back in the cabinet. The bathroom was scrubbed down clean and the wooden floors were sparkling. All in a day's work, I thought to myself. Plus, I got some training in, although I haven't been in any action for a while.

He'll be home soon. I hoped. I knew it was foolish and utterly stupid to hope. But this new life of mine was not as expected to be. This mission was more like entering a different world. A world where I could be happy. It was foolish. I was being naïve.

I started making dinner. I chopped up some vegetables, wondering if he'll come today, since he came at sporadic times. Sometimes he stayed for one hour, sometimes one night, sometimes a whole week. Then he'd be gone for a month, or he'd be back in two days. It didn't matter, because I missed him. I missed company entirely.

I finished preparing dinner and was going to set a table for one. As usual.

I stopped and shook my head from side to side, closing my eyes, with half a smile on my face, and went back to get another plate and chopsticks.

I didn't need to see his shadow or hear his voice. I felt his terrifying chakra, masked in a polite manner.

"Sakura." I was in his arms in an instant, inhaling the musky scent radiating off of him and giving his cold body some of my warmth.

"Welcome home, Itachi-kun."


	3. Mission

_Chapter 3 - Mission_

_**Pondering upon what has happened until now. Memories upon memories.**_

I was on this mission for almost a year now. I haven't seen or gone near my village in that time. I am very homesick, and in addition to that, I am alone. I feel that I've matured over this time, but not in the best way. I have come to accept the peaceful and quiet life of a civilian. I haven't fought with anyone for at least six months. But I've grown stronger in that time from the solo training. I'm not boasting about my perfection of chakra control and skill in genjutsu; it rivals Itachi's save for his blasted sharingan.

When I left my home behind, I also left my precious people behind. It must have killed Naruto because I couldn't tell anyone where I was going and what I was to do. I'm sure Tsunade-sama has told him by now, and I hope when I come back home he'll be receiving me with open arms. I told Ino I had to leave but she understood somewhat from the little information I gave her. "It's hard being in ANBU," she said. And it is. My parents passed away from one of the attacks from Sound, so all I have left seems to be my mission. My mission…

Lady Tsunade's voice rang in my head for the hundredth time… "Your mission is to kill Uchiha Itachi."

Big surprise? I think not. Everyone knew what he did, and he is a threat, or so they say. I won't let him take Naruto or hurt those in my village, even if he's the person I've known longest in my entire life. Of course, I've known him before he went berserk so I have the only advantage. I know him more than anyone, I think. Even his brother, Sasuke-kun, has no idea.

"He was last seen in the Hidden Village of Mist," Sannin Jiraiya said to me gravely. "Be careful and be strong in mind, or else he will see through everything with his accursed eyes."

I remember walking out of the village, the same path Sasuke went down when he betrayed us, when he betrayed me. I gathered my dark cloak around me and jumped up into the trees and dashed all the way to the next village, not wanting to linger close to home. I made it to the Mist in two days and walked through the streets lazily. I had to find him but calmly, and if I scurried around the place I would attract unwanted attention.

I walked in and out of hotels asking if anyone had seen men wearing black cloaks with red clouds, but none have admitted to seeing him. I went through all the restaurants and bars and was starting to lose hope. I walked through a somewhat darker street and tried the last bar next to an alley. It looked very classy but still casual. 'He _has_ to be in there,' I thought.

I walked in and the whole room looked hazy with a light layer of smoke in the air. A sweet aroma filled my nostrils and I saw a dimly lit bar with black booths lining the walls. I searched around with my eyes and at the very corner spotted the one I was looking for all this time. Itachi. And he was alone. I took a hesitant step but stopped. This mission is going to be my life. I couldn't hesitate. I had to know what I was doing. My mind had to be clear, and I had practiced deception for years in Anbu training.

I took off my cloak, readjusted my loose black clothing, and walked deliberately, but slowly to the prodigy who killed his family. I slid into the seat across from him and leaned my head on my arm with my elbow on the table.

"Sakura."

His voice, smooth and like velvet, uttered my name. I was entranced in it again, like I was nine years old. He looked up at me and his perfect face dazzled me again- that didn't change either. I haven't seen him in so long, I forgot the feeling. I was getting lightheaded and my eyes looked at him in a dream-like stare.

"Itachi." I whispered to him in the buzzing room. I wonder if he heard me, but I knew he did when his hand left the cup of tea he was holding and it came up to my face, the back of his knuckles ever so slightly brushing down my cheek, to my jaw… then retracted back to his cup before my consciousness could keep up. The feeling was incredible, and my eyes drooped lower when his hand left my face.

There was a silence that lasted for what seemed like half an hour. I looked at him and observed his features, re-enforcing my memory of him. His dark eyes had their guard down and did the same, tracing my face and just gazing at me.

"I've thought about you," I managed to string out lightly. I saw a somewhat amused expression on his face, but it disappeared in an instant.

"So have I." My breath hitched. His voice was so serious, probably from being part of a terrorist organization for many years, and for a moment the realization dawned on me. He is one of the most dangerous people alive. He left Kakashi-sensei hospitalized and made Sasuke-kun go crazy. He can easily kill everyone in this room without a sweat, or remorse.

I had to swallow the bad taste I had from these terrible thoughts. He was still watching me. I can't let my guard down for a minute, even though he may not look threatened by me.

I had to keep it going. I looked hesitant but reached for his hand again with both of mine. Although I had grown, his hand was still much larger than mine. I held his hand loosely and looked at him with determination.

"I have to be with you." I didn't stutter… I had practiced this.

"So you left your village then." I held his hand tighter in mine.

"You promised." I reminded him. His blank expression did not falter.

"You left your home."

"Yes."

"To see me?"

"…I have nothing left."

He blinked. "Yes, I've heard of your family."

My heart twisted a little, but I didn't let it show.

"You promised." I stated again. "Or was that just to fool me? Back then?"

He looked at me, was it longing? He suddenly looked much older, like he had seen too much in his lifetime. He looked weary, and his hand closed around one of mine.

"So I have." That was that.

I drew his hand to my face again and started to cry. A few tears escaped me, my mission started from here, the thought had hit me.

"Weak," I heard him say as he wiped my tears away.

I froze and blinked. My hands fell and I looked away. "Tears are not a sign of weakness." My eyes hardened at his one demeaning word, and I felt like I was a child again.

Weak. Weak. WEAK.

Sasuke called me that. Everyone thought me weak, fragile. Well no one would have expected me to go on such a suicide mission did they?

I felt Itachi's hand grip my chin gently yet firmly and I was forced to look back at him. His face was closer to mine than it was before. It could have been a kiss. It _could_ have. He seemed to be inching closer too. A kiss.

But he didn't get any closer. He was staring again. And… his eyes were bleeding red.

Was he suspecting? I need him to trust me. I _need _him to. 'What should I do?'

We were only a couple centimeters apart. _Just do it._ With half-lidded eyes I pulled myself over the table with the weight of my arms, getting ever so closer. He hadn't pulled away, so I got close enough to smell the oolong tea off his breath, close enough that my vision started to blur. I planted my lips on his paled ones gently but firmly, the way he held my face. I turned my head slightly to mold my lips further onto his and I felt him stiffen. He was shocked by my act. Of course. Was it stupid? I was stupid… this would make it worse. He was a man who buried his emotions. Love would be weak to him, wouldn't it? He didn't want me-

I opened my eyes in surprise. He pulled me even closer and was kissing me back. I vaguely saw the pupils of his sharingan spinning and I fell in love with the sharingan all over again. Because the strongest people I know had them; those I love had them. The eyes that saw everything.

I tightly pressed my lips to his once more before pulling back to catch my breath. He looked into my eyes as I did the same. He was trying to figure me out. I had to convince him, he had to trust me.

"So you aren't dead after all." I spoke to him the way I did when I was younger. I referred to his unemotional persona. His now warm lips lifted just slightly, in what would only be a smile on him.

"Let's go." His velvet voice was low and clear.

"Where?" I asked him curiously.

"Home."

"…" I wondered where his home would be. An underground cave perhaps with intricately designed tunnels? Or a stony fortress heavily guarded by Akatsuki and hidden by thick genjutsu? I was thinking about all the possibilities…but he read my mind again.

"I promised, didn't I?"

I smiled at the thought. Of course.

* * *

"_I'm going to leave."_

"_What are you talking about Itachi-kun?"_

_He looked at me solemnly as we laid on the grass, the wind gently playing with the tall flowers around us._

"_I'm leaving this place. I won't be coming back anytime soon."_

_I sat up. My eyes started to water. He was leaving me? … Why?_

_He seemed to read everything from my eyes. "You know why."_

_All his problems ran through my head. I knew why, but I didn't want to believe it. "Forget about your family! You have to take care of Sasuke-kun! And no one ever said you have to be a shinobi!" He continued to stare at me while I was going frantic._

"_What about me? You're leaving me? When I need you most. Don't you need me too?" _

_I heard the cracking of my heart, like glass was breaking. _

_Everything was becoming meaningless. Everything. _

"_What about me? Don't you… care?… about…"_

_Silence._

_He was stoic as always. It didn't matter that I was crying. No, of course not. Because I understood him. And he knew that. My tears ceased to flow so carelessly. I fell back on the grass and looked up at the sky. It was a beautiful day… so beautiful that Itachi agreed to spend some time with me after working for so long. At least that was what he had said. He lied to me. It was not beautiful. Nothing was at the moment._

_I couldn't take it. I wanted to scoff. "Just go." I said it as emotionlessly as possible, the way he always spoke to everyone._

_I closed my eyes, focusing on the breeze sweeping my hair._

"_Sakura." I hated that perfect voice. I heard him sigh. I hated that perfect sigh too._

"_I hate weakness." Yes, yes. I'm weak… just leave already._

"_And I treasure what gives me strength." So go find more power, you hungry Uchiha._

"_You make me strong." I faltered… did he say…? _

"_I make you… strong?"_

_I opened my eyes to see him nodding. "So that's why you're leaving?"_

"_No that is not the reason."_

_There was a hidden meaning. He couldn't just say it of course. But there was more to those words… _

**I love you**_**.** I looked up at him. Did he mean that?_

_I was too surprised. Then he said something that sounded so odd coming from him._

"_I'll come back for you."_

_Was he serious? Why would he do such a thing? Oh. Because I make him strong. Because he loves me?_

"_You'll come back home?"_

"_I cannot stay here once I leave, Sakura."_

"_Then you'll take me somewhere else?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Away from Konoha?"_

"_Hai."_

"_Where will we go?"_

"_Anywhere you want to go."_

"_Let's live in a house!" My mind started to stir in its creative juices thinking of all the things we could do._

"_If that is your wish."_

"_Next to the beach! I love the beach, you know that Itachi-kun?"_

"_I do."_

_I started to rant. "A house beside the beach, not too close but so you can smell the ocean from the balcony. Yes, I want a balcony! And we can have a room with mahogany drawers and a nice big comfy bed to share! And we can eat fish, because you like fish, I like fish. A garden would be nice too! With lots of flowers, like these!" I picked one off the grass. It was pink with numerous petals on a long stem. _

"_Of course," he said as he took the flower and carefully placed it behind my ear._

_His past proclamation reentered my train of thought. 'He's leaving.'_

_He understood my change of mood again. "But for now…"_

"… _okay." I consented. He patted my head. He knew just how to get me to accept such an absurd idea as him leaving me. Darn my naïve brain._

"_And you'll take care of Sasuke for me, won't you?"_

_Sasuke-kun! I almost forgot about him. I couldn't leave him. I loved him too. What if I had to choose between the two? Sasuke asked me once before who I liked more. I could never say that out loud._

"_Sasuke-kun is in good hands."_

"_Good."_

* * *

I never helped Sasuke-kun though. No matter how cheerful I was around him, no matter how much I wanted to spend time with him, it was like he forgot all about me. After the massacre. The massacre that Itachi caused-and he was right here, in the same room as me. He was to be killed, because he killed so many innocent people. And he scarred Sasuke-kun. This mission was my first priority. I had to learn all about Itachi-this Itachi I am currently living with, not the one I played with as a child. Itachi from Akatsuki, the terrorist organization causing terrible harm to those I love.

* * *

I finished doing the dishes from our silent dinner and took a towel to dry them. I felt hands gently pry the towel from mine and Itachi started to dry them himself. No matter how dangerous he was, he was always polite.

He was done quicker than I could have dried the dishes and he was now facing me, hands on the counter either side of me, trapping me. His eyes were on me, so I looked up and found the deepest red lighting up his face. I ran my hands up his arms to his shoulder, to his face. I went on my toes and kissed him ever so gently and he kissed back with tenderness-so surprising for an S-class nin. Soon he started kissing me with fervor, for I'm sure he missed me and he had been on a long, tiresome mission. We ended up in the bedroom in mere seconds and indescribable passion filled the night.

"_You must kill Uchiha Itachi. You will have to deceive him, and by all means do anything to get him to trust you. You two have a pre-forged bond, as I am told. Use it._

_Remember, he is a cold-blooded murderer. Always keep that in mind. This is for you, for us."_

"_Hai shishou." My first love had to die, I knew that from the depths of my broken heart._


	4. The Red Sky

Chapter 4 - The Red Sky

I sleep with the enemy. And I enjoy it. Is that bad?

I'm on a mission, but I only hide behind it. I don't try to gather information about the Akatsuki. I don't look for a sign of weakness in Itachi so that I can spill his blood. I don't think I'm going back home anymore. My life is at a standstill and I don't want to go anywhere. I'm doing something selfish; I don't act for Konoha, nor do I fight for Itachi's "cause." I'm only living for me. I live in this safe secure dream house. I have someone who cares about me the way I always wanted to be treated, and the way I always wanted to be seen and desired. Is that so bad?

Sasuke will never come back, so is it really so horrendous that I try to fit into a content lifestyle? He'll never come out of the darkness, so how can I? **How can**_** I?**_

He haunts me. When I look into Itachi's perfect face, I see Sasuke at the same time. Sometimes I pretend it's Sasuke when I revel in his touch and from the comfort of his arms holding me. I live in a dream. I live in a nightmare. I love Itachi but I think he knows where my heart really is, where my heart is dying. We are all broken, aren't we?

Today, my thought was confirmed.

I woke up to a chiseled chest cushioning my head. Looks like he stayed this time, what a surprise, I thought. His eyes were closed and his breathing was so slow and lazy, I didn't know if he was asleep or not. My childish antics started to take over and my inner self begged me to taunt Itachi. I walked my fingers up his chest and twirled them around as if my hand was a ballerina and Itachi was my stage. I drew my fingers up to his face and pretended to kick his nose with my fingers. I saw his lips twitch upward, as he _was_ awake and realized what I was doing by listening to my whispered "hyahh"s and "take that!"s. I withdrew my hand quickly and laid my head back down beside him.

"Good morning Itachi-kun."

"Hn." What is with their low level of vocabulary, seriously?

"Well," I was starting to feel awkward. "I'll go make us some breakfast." So I got up and did so.

While I was making breakfast, I was wondering why Itachi had stayed. He was constantly busy, so we never spent mornings together. When I finished preparing, I went back upstairs to fetch him. How peculiar.

I went into the bedroom only to find Itachi sitting upright on the bed, dressed and groomed, looking beautiful and making me feel inadequate. I sat next to him, and his eyes were on the floor.

"What's wrong…?"

One of his hands that were draped over his open legs drifted to my knee and his eyes fixated on my one knee. I was very confused at this point. He was acting so strangely, and it reminded me of the last time he acted differently, when he told me he was running away.

"Itachi, what is wrong?" My voice was more assertive. What was he thinking about?

He drew circles around my knee and waited a long moment before speaking. "Who do you love more, Sakura?"

I was shocked to hear those words. I was shocked because those were Sasuke's words. He couldn't have possibly meant the same thing, could he? No…

"Sometimes I wondered. You treated both of us quite fairly. But your heart couldn't have been equally conflicted. Who do you love more?" Yes, he was talking about the same thing. I didn't know what to say, so I played dumb.

"What do you mean?" He glanced at me and then reverted back to drawing circles, but not before I caught a glimpse of red. He expected an answer.

"Who do you love more, Sasuke or me?" Something in my chest tightened. Sasuke's name was taboo and never spoken aloud. We even managed to live together without bringing him up at all. So why now? And he sounded like I had only one person in my heart all this time. It sounded like he _knew_. But how?

"What do _you_ think?" I made it sound like I obviously loved him more. Why else would I be here? Oh right, the mission.

"I think you should take care of otouto."

"What?" My head started hurting. I didn't understand what he was saying, what he was thinking.

"_Take good care of our birthday boy now," he told me before he left._

He told me that every time before he left for some mission.

It took me a while to register. But I was still confused. "You're leaving?" His silence was screaming 'yes.'

"I shall be seeing him soon."

My heart started to race. I could swear he heard it. He made a dry chuckle. "He believes we have unfinished business. And he _has_ been training all these years for a fight, hasn't he? I shouldn't disappoint him."

"NOO!!" What was he thinking? "You are going to kill your brother?! Or do you want to kill yourself?? Are you insane? After what you put him through?? Don't!! For the love of god, don't let Sasuke find you." Saying his name made my throat hoarse.

"Why are you going to him?!" I was going hysterical, just like I had before. "Aren't I enough? Can't we just live like this? Why are you doing this?"

He finally looked up at me, and I felt so powerless, and I must have looked hideous with puffy red eyes and wet cheeks. But he didn't appear to notice.

"You're beautiful."

"Don't change the subject." I tried to push down the blush threatening to creep up. He really knew how to push my buttons.

"Sasuke would love to see you now, how you've grown."

"That idiot doesn't care about my existence." I tried to be as unemotional as possible. Thinking about Sasuke like that would cause enough tears to flood the house for sure.

"That's not what I saw." I think he was referring to mind-raping his little brother.

"Shut up." I snapped at him.

I heard him sigh, and he sounded like my father when he came home from work and sat in his chair too tired to do anything else. He made a sigh just like this one.

"Who do you love more?"

I was silent. What could I say?

_I love Sasuke-kun the most!_

I started up my argument, one I've been telling to myself for a while. "You love me. You care about me. That's all I need. Can't we just stay like this? Don't go out looking for trouble-"

"So I lost."

….? _**I** _was the one lost. What the hell was he talking about?

"I lost to Sasuke."

It replayed in my head. And it clicked, like an old film rolling in sepia.

"_Sakura." I looked up at him._

"_Nii-san has everything, I am jealous of that." I listened. "He has the love of my father and the support of our whole clan."_

"_And you. He has you."_

"_Sasuke-"_

"_But I have you too…."_

"…_so, I will win. This game, I will win for sure."_

I gasped, and he seemed to understand my gesture. I tried to reason with him.

"Itachi, don't be stupid… you love me, don't you? And I love you. What's the problem?"

"You knew this was temporary. I kept my promise. But you must also keep yours."

_**"Take care of Sasuke."**_

My mouth was set in a thin line. I tried my best not to cry out of frustration or confusion-I didn't know which one was stronger right now.

He continued, refuting his quiet demeanor. "I am grateful for our time together, but I'm afraid I must let you go. You need to move on from this. Or you will be deemed a missing-nin as well. Did you forget that you were on a mission?"

I was shocked for the thousandth time this morning. He knew. He always knew. But he gave us time together. Borrowed time, for lost time. Time that was stolen from us. I started to cry. He was doing this for me. And he would give me up to his little brother who didn't want me. He made so many sacrifices…

"Don't you-"

"Of course Sakura." 'I love you,' he meant to say.

"Then why?"

"This is best."

I held back hurt sobs. Why does he have to be such a martyr? Politically, biologically, personally-for me. He was saying that he will die. He will let his little brother kill him.

"Then I guess my mission will be successful," I said sarcastically, out of bitterness.

"You will be greatly rewarded." he nodded. He didn't fight back. He never did.

I was speechless for a long moment. But I couldn't just let everything go. "I would like to ask for a favor, if you don't mind."

"Anything," he breathed into my neck. How he got so close so suddenly, I didn't know.

I stiffened but continued with my request. "If this is my last day with you, before you leave," _before you die_… "then a last date would be nice. You know, like it used to be when life was a little less complicated."

He gave me the warmest smile on his weathered face. Ah, nostalgia. "Of course… Sakura…-chan." I tried to smile at him. I tried so hard, my face hurt.

The day went by too quickly as it always does when we wish kami would give us more time. But I couldn't have had it any other way.

Itachi wore his old clothes, not the Akatsuki coat. He was just Itachi, no strings attached. All was silent as we spent the morning and afternoon walking up and down the beach. I wanted to hear his voice, for all that it was worth now, so I tried to make as much conversation as possible. But everything reverted back to Sasuke, so I shut up soon after. I didn't eat anything because that would mean looking away from him-I had lost my appetite anyway. I held his arm as we sat on the warm sand, looking out into the vast ocean. My head rested on the crook of his neck. I felt his words vibrating from his throat.

"My strength." He referred to me. I sighed, wasn't he _my_ strength? He held me together after all.

"Make Sasuke strong too."

I became embittered. "Don't get too hopeful."

He laughed, and it was a sweet, beautiful laugh. It sounded like he was letting go, like he was saying his final goodbyes. "Cherry blossom, you have no idea how much you mean to the world, to us especially."

I buried my head deeper into his neck and we stayed silent. We stayed like that for the rest of the day. We saw the sunset and we hadn't moved even when the stars started to sprout in the sky. I remembered going in and out of consciousness trying to stay awake so I can be with him longer.

But I couldn't win out against my eyes. Not when they had to compete with his. The twirling black spheres lulled me into sleep. I was fading out, but I voiced my fear before leaving completely.

"I don't want to be alone." I felt tears gently streaming under my heavy and closing lids.

I felt a soft whisper promising me into my ear. "You are never alone. I will always be with you. And don't worry, he is on his way to you, too."

"Sasuke?" I mumbled incoherently.

"Aa." I thought he smiled, so I did too.

"I love you." I heard the words, but I wasn't sure who said it. I don't think I did, but Itachi never said that before… The next thing I remember is waking up to the ordinary bed in the ordinary room with my struggling plants and mahogany dressers. I smelled the salty air coming from the open door to the balcony. I didn't get up but just looked around. Everything looked normal but ethereal at the same time. I was alone.

* * *

_Alone_.

Again.

I am alone. The thought was trying to taunt me.

He's gone… he will be dead, if he isn't already.

The peaceful sound of the waves of the ocean and chirping birds was pierced through with a long, loud, agonized scream. It took a while before I realized that it was me.

_Fuck you, Itachi._

_You too, Sasuke._


	5. Nightmare

Chapter 5 - Nightmare

_Blood. There was blood everywhere. It was endless and ubiquitous. I closed my eyes tightly before opening them and realizing that it wasn't going away. This was real._

_Whoever did this was cruel and by no means forgiving. I was warned before. I knew something would happen when Itachi said he was leaving, but not this. I never expected this. I ran around the district, searching for any familiar people… who weren't dead. The blood was still warm, and I saw it still seeping through the bodies. The massacre was committed not too long ago. I did a miserable excuse of running since tears and paranoia filled me. My mouth was open, trying to cry, scream, yell, anything… but nothing came out. I felt the ribbon holding my hair up slip away into air I was slicing through. I finally made it to my destination, and I finally saw a sign of life. 'But not for long.' I tried to push that thought down as I audibly gulped._

"_PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!" Sasuke? I ran forward and fell, scratching my arms and legs and dirt covering me. I tried to get up, but I was pained from what I was hearing, and it hurt more than the blood I was adding to the already red streets._

"…_Run, run and cling to life." I recognized this other voice. But it was too far, I didn't know which way to turn to get there. I felt so lost, my sense of direction was gone, and the enormousness of the Uchiha district did nothing to help me._

_My dreadful conscience told me that Sasuke was dead already, but I shook my head._ No, he isn't dead. Itachi would never…

_My thoughts turned to the other brother. I realized Itachi was going to leave. His work seemed to be finished. It was the most futile act I would do, but I couldn't just do nothing. Wincing and still crying, I ran to the exit of the village that he most always took. I ran and my little legs weren't enough but I kept going. If I gave up now, I would never know, and I'm sure he wasn't sticking around to bid me farewell after killing everyone related to the name Uchiha._

_I made it to the now dark exit, and I only met a deserted area, absent of life. I felt a gentle but chilling breeze and after perusing the trail once more I made out a figure standing by a tree. He was trying to catch his breath it looked like, and his body was fatigued and weary. All my instincts told me to run away; he killed those closest to him. He killed his best friend; I figured out now that he was the one who did it. For the Mangekyou Sharingan. My stupid conscience was screaming at me and crying, telling me that I was in the same position as Sasuke, my poor Sasuke-kun. I was in danger. Tears ran afresh and yet I took a step forward toward him. _

"_Itachi…" My voice came back, but it was quiet and hoarse. _

_He didn't move but he probably knew I was coming before I realized I was here myself. I took another small, hesitant step. I saw his eyes ablaze with the most powerful and destructive thing I have ever witnessed in my youth._

_My conscience was still screaming at me to leave. I wanted to reason with it. If he is gone and Sasuke is dead, what will I become? It won't mean a thing. If I died by his hands, then so be it. My heart still cried out for Itachi. What he had done was unforgivable, but I also knew that Itachi had a big heart-so somewhere deep down he was hurting. What he was fighting with inside must be torturous. I had made my decision._

_I started sobbing again at the thought as I stumbled my way to him, praying that he will not leave. His image was getting bigger and clearer as I made my way to him. I fell, but not before grabbing hold of his torso in a death grip. I tried to subside the heavy breathing and hiccupping. He was still silent and unmoving._

_After a minute of trying to silence myself and gathering up the courage, I looked up into the face of a murderer. But it wasn't a murderer I was looking at. As I tilted my head farther back and his perfect, blood-covered face came into full view, I only saw Itachi. My Itachi-kun. One who had to carry with him an eternal burden, I heard my heart breaking because his was gone and buried._

"_Itachi…" I whispered again. My voice was still nothing but a quiet whimper. _

"_Stay with me." the words poured out before I could take them back. I wasn't thinking, because if I did, I would have kept my mouth shut. I couldn't imagine what he was going through._

_His face for the first time was unguarded. His haggard breathing and tense body were a first, ever. He had no tears, and it seemed that I was crying for him, because he couldn't. He looked down on me and pulled me in with an armored hand. I held on tighter if it was possible and started crying hard. His tightened arm seemed to show that he was crying with me. Time had passed, and reluctantly I let Itachi go of my hold after struggling with myself. He seemed to be going through the same thing, for his arm holding me lingered a little longer._

"_My strength," he murmured, so low it could have been the breeze brushing through my hair. But I knew better. And I knew I couldn't be a strength to anyone, especially this person who has chosen to lose everything and everyone._

"_Don't," I closed my eyes and tried desperately to keep myself together and not break down again._

_I felt his hands on my shoulders and his head rested on mine. I slowly opened my eyes to find Itachi gently pressing his lips on my forehead. It seemed so meaningless now that his humanity was gone, but at that moment I vowed that I will try and bid with my life to truly be his strength. I will hold onto his humanity and love, for I know he will lose it along the way, whatever he will do. _

"_My strength," he continued to address me, "Make Sasuke strong, too." I saw the Mangekyou and then, it was all black. I tried to hold onto him, I tried to speak to him, "Please…" I heard him smile. But I knew I lost him, because you can't hear someone smile._

_I woke up to my small pink room and it was morning. The sun was barely rising and it made my room look dark and bloody. And that's when my mind was focused enough to know that it wasn't a dream. It all happened. _

_I screamed._

* * *

I screamed. I woke up from my dream that ventured back into my past. This had been happening a lot now that I was alone. I looked around to the familiar view of my room and the beach beyond this house.

My eyes were wary before I realized that there was no danger. There won't be. Not from him, ever again. It had been a week, and I still went through the usual routine in this house.

I went through living in this little dream, always hoping that Itachi would come home from his usual missions and surprise me with gifts or flowers, or even a kiss. But I knew he was gone. I knew I was alone. Yet… I won't leave. I won't go back to Konoha. If I do, then I'll be letting go of this little dream. If I let go, then I let Itachi go. I can't do that, not for a long time.

I continue to wait… for nothing. Nothing but damned mahogany dressers and dying plants. Nothing but nightmares.


	6. Carry On

Chapter 6 - Carry On

Itachi was smiling. He was fucking smiling. And he was dead.

The rain poured down on both of us. I was half relieved it was finally over-and the other half of me was unsettled. Was he finally, truly, gone? I couldn't believe it. I looked down on the corpse that had fallen, my hair shading my eyes from his face. But it was real; my brother was finally dead.

Yet, it wasn't how I imagined it to be…

I had pulled out every card in my hand…

My highest level of chidori

Orochimaru

All my genjutsu

I saw past everything… didn't I?

But I am not convinced…

_My eyes…_

_My strength…_

Itachi's last words filled my head.

Did I kill him? Did he die by my hand? I thought for a moment longer, trying to stay sane.

'No. _I _was the one about to be annihilated. _I_ was going to be killed. But… '

I was getting dizzy. And I leaned on the thick wall encrested with the Uchiha fan, until all turned to black.

_You will find your answers._

I woke up and found myself on the ground, alongside my brother. I was so tired. I don't know how long I was lying there, in the rubble of our apocalypse. I looked back up to see the same corpse, unmoving, with a frozen smile. I scoffed-it was finally done, yet it didn't feel right. I decided that even my brother's body had to be dealt with.

I burned Itachi's ashes and it tossed into the wind, becoming the air itself. Our final conversation reentered my head, more clearly now…

* * *

"_My, you have improved, little brother." He was seated on the throne of the Uchiha._

"_And I will kill you, for killing our family." I was looking upon him and his indifferent expression._

_Then I found disappointment in his face and those eyes I once envied held something I couldn't describe. I don't think I can ever forget that look he gave me._

_He smirked, still with those sad, indecipherable eyes and said, "You know so little."_

_I glared at him with my sharingan spinning._

_He chuckled. "Those eyes, I want them. We are unique brothers, you see Sasuke. If I take your eyes for my own, I will gain ultimate power."_

_Being my brother, he knew how to enrage me. I said nothing, gritting my teeth, and attacked once more._

_I had put all my chakra into this final move… but as the lightning hit Itachi, I was worried… so worried that maybe I wasn't strong enough. My last level of chidori was very final, and I knew that it could kill anyone. It was a tricky process but I learned to gather the electric current in the atmosphere to create a colossal lightning strike from the sky. And when it hit him dead-on, I reassured myself and smirked lightly knowing he had to be dead. But no. Out of the electrified ruins, Itachi stepped out with his own summoned demon._

_I wanted to scream. My face held horror. This fight wasn't over, although I had expected it to be. I had no more chakra left, so I rebuked myself but had to use the cursed seal. My hold on Orochimaru simultaneously with my body was weakening. But it was either him, or Itachi._

* * *

_And even then, Itachi killed Orochimaru with a swift stroke of a sword. And I was left defenseless._

_I was left, naked of weapons or chakra, cowered against a broken wall, watching Itachi steer ever closer to me. Blood was dripping from his mouth, and I realized that I wasn't bleeding as much as he was. He had coughed up blood numerour times in our fight. I had done more damage to him than he had done to me. But I wasn't in the position to question anything at the moment, for I was the one being prowled upon like prey._

"_My eyes…" His hand was raised in front of him, in a gesture of reaching toward my face. He was really going to take my eyes!!_

_I trembled in fear, and it was the same exact feeling I had when I was nine years old, and Itachi was in front of me, telling me I was weak. I couldn't run for I was frozen in place, too shocked to move. I couldn't scream for him to spare me again. That became a ridiculous thought. I stood, absolutely petrified, as Itachi came ever closer, his hand reaching out to my eyes. _

'_Because power is everything. And I didn't have enough.'_

_I tried to bury myself into the wall behind me._

'_This is the end… it's not how it's supposed to be! Okaa-san... Otou-san...'_

_So many thoughts ran through my head as Itachi finally came within arms-distance. I looked upon his face, battered yet smiling. My eyes then followed his arm that was now raised, his index finger reaching up to my eyes, ready to pluck them out._

_Sweat visibly rolled down my face, and I waited for the pain and the end to come. But it didn't._

_Itachi smiled- a true smile- the only kind I saw in my childhood, and just like he had so many times before, he poked my forehead with a bloodied finger. _

_If I was still trembling, I wasn't anymore. My eyes locked on his and I was completely immobile. Even the sweat on the back of my neck froze in place, because I wasn't dead. I didn't move for a whole minute; Itachi stared at me, breathing heavily, and I stared back, unable to comprehend what was happening._

_Itachi kept smiling._

_And he spoke very raggedly, but he strained to speak coherently. "Go South, two villages down. You will find your answers there."_

_I was still in shock. I didn't understand why he was saying this. Wasn't I doing to die?_

"_You will find more power."_

_I was so confused but before I could string a word together he collapsed, no longer breathing, no longer moving, just a plastered smile, and eyes slightly closed, the accursed sharingan never to be used by Uchiha Itachi ever again._

* * *

Questions filled my mind that I can't answer. I sort of regret Itachi dying before I can get my answers. Don't be mistaken, I don't regret his death. I DO NOT. That was my life's goal. And I saw to it done. But the curiosity will kill me if I don't do as he has told me to. He may be leading me to a trap, to finish me for good. Even so, my brother is gone, so that is reassurance enough for me.

The journey was slow and calm. I didn't know what to expect, but I was prepared for anything threatening. I felt revived, Orochimaru has left my body-thanks to… Itachi. Should I thank him? Yes of course, 'thank you big brother for killing the snake sannin, along with the rest of our clan. Thanks a lot.' I scoffed, from the irony.

By the time I reached the second village, my slow regeneration was complete and I had a full reserve of chakra. I came across a stream and cleaned myself up as best as I could. I took a cloth from my pack and slowly wiped the blood off my forehead. I stared at it. This is my brother. I don't why, but I folded the soiled cloth and put it back with my supplies.

I got up and readjusted my things. I looked to the village where I would supposedly find my answers and attain more 'power.' I moved forward but realized that I didn't know what I was looking for. Thank you Itachi for being cryptic even to your death. I sighed. The sun was setting and it was passing twilight. I had better find a place to stay for the night anyway.

The moment I entered the tall wooden gates, a wave of nostalgia hit me. Just for a moment, I felt like I was entering the Uchiha district, bright and bustling. The illusion dissipated as I walked inward. The lamps illuminating the village were warm and welcoming but no, these people were not related to him in any way. Yet, they still held the cheer and liveliness his home community once held. I took a deep breath, taking in the scene and filling myself with the peace that was so evident here.

"_Hello little Sasuke-kun. How was your day at the academy?" Auntie would say._

"Welcome good sir!" an elderly woman greeted me from one of the many shops lining the dirt road.

I nodded my head to acknowledge her. She didn't turn away though, but instead started to stare at me peculiarly. She seemed to recognize me. She continued, "Do you happen to have a relative? A brother perhaps?"

My eyes instinctively narrowed at her questioning me.

I thought for a moment and answered, "I did." _Not anymore_.

She seemed to understand and started mumbling to herself. She went into her shop and came out with a small black bag with a box inside by the looks of it, apparently for me. She held it out to me.

I looked at her questioningly but she didn't seem to appear threatening at all, so I took it and put it in my pack. She smiled at me again and waved me off. "You are looking for a place to stay, am I right?"

"Hai."

She nodded at my answer and replied, "There is a quaint place by the beachside at the very end of this village. I'm sure you can stay there."

I thanked her and went on my way. I was trying to figure her out, but to no avail. She smiled one last time with creased eyes and then disappeared into her shop.

I continued down the strange town and this village was almost too small; there wouldn't be any danger in a place such as this. I passed by a couple small inns but they were too conspicuous for me, so I treaded on down the road to find the place the old lady told me about.

The buildings started to die out as I continued walking and when there was only grass on either side of me, I smelled the air growing salty. After a few yards, the ocean became visible to me. And not far off, I saw a lone building with a single light on.

Upon closer inspection, it looked like a house. As I came even closer, I walked through a wild garden. I wouldn't have stopped if another wave of this nostalgia hit me. I hated it; unwanted emotions were getting in the way my of conscience. I looked around me and scrutinizing this garden, I saw that it was full of pink flowers, so tall that they brushed against my legs when a breeze picked up. Ancient memories flashed in my mind, thoughts I have never once looked back upon. These flowers were the same ones that inhabited the small training ground in Konoha. I used to play there everyday with--

I couldn't finish my thought as my senses kicked in. I skidded to the right quickly, barely deflecting a kunai.

My sharingan was ablaze as I looked toward the house where the kunai had come from. It was too far away, probably two hundred yards, for a civilian of this small village to throw so accurately at me. And if he was that strong, he probably wont let me escape.

I took a fighting stance, waiting for whoever was waiting for me.

**So, this _was_ a trap.**


	7. Moonlight Denzetsu

This fic was created out of love for Itachi. But I am faithful to sakuraXsasuke. I just think Itachi should have been given more credit. He is my favorite character. And he deserved more. Plus, I just rant about him too much. I don't think a lot of people read this, but it's pretty much some of my life, my thoughts, my emotions, put together with the romance and angst of the story. The young, hopeful, all-knowing Sakura was a wishful part of me before. My, how time changes things. And this new Sakura I want to create will be mature--and still all-knowing because I think she deserves better as a character. And along with the drama I have been going through, I'm starting to write again with a couple years of extra literary experience. Yay!

* * *

Chapter 7- Moonlight Denzetsu

[Sakura POV]

I was changing... I was evolving... into a bug.

What else was there? The one who loved me most, the one who actually cared about me... the one who ever gave a fuck about me would rather die by his brother's hand than live a quiet life with me. So I drag on, trying so desperately to ignore everything and everyone. I was in a limbo and each day was just another day, meaningless, where my existence meant little. It didn't mean anything to me, not when I was cast aside once more. I wake up to a bright morning only to go through the motions of living and fall back into the abyss of the nightmares when the sun goes down. It was a cycle that lasted..... I can't say that I was keeping count. But if there was ever a purgatory, I have a feeling it felt a lot like this.

But if I didn't hold on to this... I would rather die. All I had would be lost and forgotten.

Here was my reasoning: the fact is that someone loved me unconditionally and gave me this house. He told me before (and I knew inside as well)... it wasn't going to last forever, but I had something at a time. Someone stayed with me and I was happy for a while. So that's why I can't move on. I was selfish again and I was stubborn. I was dying. If I move away from this, I don't know what will be out there in the real world for me. Who knows how many other loved ones I may have lost? I'd rather not know, and stay here.

So I wake up, wash my face, make breakfast, train, walk, eat a pitiful dinner, rest, sleep, and the cycle starts over the next day. It doesn't change, but I guess in a way that makes me feel better. I won't allow change. Not for a long time at least. I want this. I want to return to the darkness every night.

And the night came again and the house was dark. I sat at the dining table that was dressed in white tablecloth and fancy imported china that sparkled in the little moonlight that seeped in. I was facing the shadows of the house, my silhouette gently filtered by the dim light and the darkness welcoming me in. One of my arms was on the table and I was gripping the edge, a little for security and a little for support. My back was rigid and straight. My body was frozen stiff, because my mind was transparent, in a state of emptiness. I felt like half of me wasn't there. It wasn't anywhere...

_I'm still here with you_, I heard him say in my head. The first time this happened, I thought I was going crazy. I don't care anymore.

_No!_ My inner self protested. What a lie. What a sick joke to say right before leaving me all alone in this world.

_I'm always with you..._

I shook my head sideways slightly to tell him I didn't believe him. _Lies. All lies. _I continued to stare at the nothingness.

What lies. I gripped the table a little tighter, almost like my mind was holding on for dear life and it was telling my body to do the same. Why? _Why? Why?!??!_ I could feel paranoia at the brink of my sanity and I could drown in it if I chose to.

_But... still..._

My grip then loosened somewhat. And the panic I could almost feel decreased. And I was numb again. I looked into the darkness, almost like I was facing him and telling him, _But I will accept your lies._ They are all I have. I must hold on, for one day his promise will fade and I may not remember the exact tone and pitch of his wonderful voice or the feel of his soothing touch, and I would stab myself with a kunai before I ever forget the way the corner of his lips tightened and lifted ever so slightly and I was the only one who knew that he was trying to hide back a laugh. I couldn't forget that.

My mind was at a standstill, and it was on the edge of a knife.. if it fell, my mind would be lost to the darkness forever. Yet, I had to hold on to his memory. I had to remember him, but not miss him.

His face was imprinted in my mind...

His faint smile that I loved...

Itachi...

My heart softened...

and his beautiful eyes...

and I almost felt comforted in the still dark...

And then...

and then...

**RED.**

My vision turned RED. The cold welcoming darkness dissipated and red bled over everything. It was anger. My emotions flared, and it was so extreme because I haven't used them in so long. I felt a chakra signature closing in on me. I felt my face contort and my eyes narrow, but even the slightest bit of showing facial expression felt alien to me. I haven't shown emotion in a long time.

My inner self roared so threateningly. How dare you break my peace, my mind seethed. One knew better than to come to this place. Judging by his chakra signature, he was strong. I almost grew lightheaded from the flash of anger than came across me. I'll kill you for intruding and trampling on _my flowers, my home, my sanctuary_. Before the blink of an eye, my weapons holster was in my hand and I was flying out my balcony, ready to spill blood.

* * *

[Sasuke POV]

It was so quick that if it hadn't been for my sharingan, I would not have avoided this attacker. He was coming at me head-on, which for any shinobi was foolish, but he was so quick and agile that I barely had time to react. I sidestepped and could only defend myself, this attacker on the offense constantly, leaving no room for me to fight back. All I could do at that moment was dodge his punches and kicks; I was stunned. I didn't even have a chance to unsheathe my katana before he landed an inhuman blow on me, flinging me against a tree that nearly cracked open from the impact. My sword was lost and hidden in the flowers. A chakra-filled kick aimed for my head and having deduced that trying to catch it would only hurt me in the process, I maneuvered for him to kick the tree behind me. I rolled over around and grabbed his hands behind his back to disable the gargantuan strength he could kill me with.

In the dark, I was only focused on the fight and not the attacker, but as he tried to struggle out of my iron grip, I realized that he was actually a she. And she was not staying still for even one second.

"Who are you?" I hissed into her ear. Her struggling ceased immediately at my voice and she shivered slightly from my breath.

I pressed further, "What do you want with me?"

Still, there was no response. If she was waiting for me to let go, that wasn't going to happen. I asked again menacingly, "Who are you??"

The wind passed between us, brushing her hair aside. It came undone from a bun and fell ever so slightly. I noticed the glisten of the shift in her hair and upon close inspection, the glint was pink. She had long silky pink hair and I could only imagine one person with such a searing trait…

A picture of her twelve year old self appeared in my head. Could it be?

My throat started to dry when I asked...

"Sakura?" It was impossible, but I was too curious not to ask.

* * *

[Sakura POV]

I turned my head around to look into the face of the intruder, and it was indeed Uchiha Sasuke. Taller and older, but still Sasuke in the flesh. His voice was what caught me but I didn't want to believe it-I haven't heard his voice for years, so it wouldn't be the same. Yet, I was still drawn by it. My eyes confirmed his identity, and they looked up to his hair still the same charming-yet-didn't-mean-it-to-be style. My eyes softened and drew down to his face, emotionless and constantly analyzing the situation ( I considered I was doing the same thing). Then, I dragged my gaze lower, and lower, looking upon his well-sculpted body beneath tattered-looking clothing. And I remembered that he was still the enemy, probably ready to kill me as he did before in the Sound's lair.

And… what the hell was he doing on my turf??

I started to get enraged and red was blurring my vision yet again. This was my sanctuary and he was not welcome!

I narrowed my eyes and almost hissed, "What are you doing here?" He looked taken aback and I kept my guard up, holding my arms up in defense.

He was as startled to see me as I was to see him and he didn't let his guard down either. His sharingan blazed, "I was told to come here."

If I wasn't so offended, I would have laughed at such a joke. No one knew I was here and no one even knew about such a small village as this. No one but him. He found this tranquil place and made it a home for me. He told Sasuke. "Itachi…"

He slowly nodded, as if he should be careful of even his name. Weasel. That was what his name meant. Yeah, cringe in fear, Uchiha! Then… I stiffened... then my Itachi was truly dead, gone from this world. I was doing so well up to now. I kept going, living this little life. The nightmares weren't letting up, but I still managed. Now I had this thorn in my side who knew where I was and who I was with. Years ago, I would have been happy to see cute Sasuke-kun randomly on my front lawn. But now he was trespassing on my most private property and he was ruining the life I carefully built in secret for myself. And the news of Itachi's death made everything more final and more meaningless. If I didn't feel so cold and abandoned inside, I would have cried. But tears were even foreign to me since he left. My attention was averted to the thing staring intensely at me.

I focused back on the maggot in front of me and sighed. He looked surprised again. He was ticking me off by the second and he didn't have to do anything but breathe. "What are you staring at? I'm _so_ sorry I'm not doting on you right now but someone is trespassing my property."

* * *

[Sasuke POV]

After watching her carefully and seeing that thoughts were whirring in her head, I was intrigued. If it hadn't been for the situation, I would have smirked. But I found little to even smirk about over the years. She was different. She wasn't speaking mindlessly and was thinking so intensely to herself, silent. Then she looked up. "What are you staring at? I'm _so_ sorry I'm not doting on you right now but someone is trespassing my property."

She made it sound like I was the one being annoying here, not her. I was going to retort when I felt a surge of chakra coming from the core of her body. I was more curious than wary, so I didn't register how quickly she did this, but all that chakra she summoned into herself pinpointed down her leg. She took a step forward with that leg and I heard a rumble coming toward me from underground. I took a step aside just in time to avoid an explosion where I stood half a second before. Then before I could look up, a glowing fist knocked me down and before everything turned black and I fully lost consciousness, I saw a blurry vision of this new Sakura standing over my body.

* * *

"Sasuke, wake up."

I opened my eyes slowly and I blinked a couple times until the blurriness started to fade away. I blinked a little more, just to make sure my vision was fully clear. I felt like someone had knocked me out. And I remembered Sakura. My mind became more acute and ready for whatever was to come at me.

"Sasuke! Get ready for school or you'll be late!"

That voice belonged to my mother, and as I looked around, I was in my room. It was spotless and void of any blood. There was no massacre. I sat up and everything felt surreal. I was so confused... My legs didn't feel like they were mine, but I walked with them out of my room, down the stairs, and to the kitchen where my mother was shouting to me from. I sensed her there, and she was cooking something for breakfast, I could smell it. I sat down the kitchen table awkwardly and looked at my clean plate, the reflection of my younger self looking back at me. It was a time before Itachi killed our whole family. I looked up and my mother was about to turn to me and say something... Her head was about to turn so that I may see her face...

"Sasuke, wake up."

It wasn't so surreal anymore, and it wasn't a bright morning anymore either. Everything faded to reality, and I was in the darkness of a house. I tried to make out where I was and assumed that I was in Sakura's house. I made a move to get up but found myself strapped to a chair. I looked down but found no rope. Chakra strings were binding me and they led to a silhouette in front of me. She was leaning on a table behind her and her arms were crossed.

"Hn." was all I could say. What a situation this was.


End file.
